9.17.2010

SkyRider - Worst Seats On the Plane



The SkyRider - Worst Idea for Airlines Yet!


Oh you have got to be kidding!!!   As a very tall passenger with a need for more legroom, some airline out there is trying to reduce that legroom even more?  On top of that, I have to squat for an entire flight (I doubt the seats will adjust high enough for me to straddle).  I want to know who is looking at this seat so I can make sure they don't get any money from me - be it through ticket sales or through my 401k investments.

Since they are going there, I have a better idea.   Why not invest in.......STASIS CHAMBERS??  That's right you would check your bags and your body in when you arrive at the airport.  The airline would give you a pill to swallow, which knocks you out, then they'll put you in a pod and load you and your bags in a cargo plane.  Think of what this would do for you and the airline!

For starters, the fact that you are comatose means you won't have to deal with the long security lines.  How great is that? They would simply put you and your bags in the scanner - just to make sure you didn't hide any timed explosives.   On top of that, you won't have to wait in those in worn out seats for your flight.  You would be in the same cargo hold as your baggage.  Then when your plane arrives, off you go onto the baggage cart and dumped into the plane...


Think of all that money that would be saved!  For you, no more buying unnecessary food and products from all of those vendors in the airport.  Save your money for your destination.  For the airline the savings is enormous......

No more need for flight attendants.  No more need to serve food even on long flights.  No more need for movies, WiFi, or any other entertainment.  No more unruly passengers.  No more babies crying.  Faster boarding process. More even weight distribution. And on top of all that, you can squeeze 50% to 80% more people on one flight!!!! Just stack the people, maybe in columns of 4 and rows of 8. The only additional expense you'd really incur is that you'd have to have a doctor or medical professional to monitor the chambers and vital signs of its occupants. 

And as a bonus, check this out.......In the event of an accident, these chambers would protect you from harm!!!  That's right!  Since they are stasis chambers, they would have to be airtight, watertight, each with their own oxygen generators.  They can even send a beacon indicating your position and allow safety crews to locate you. 

Somehow, even with such great technology, many airlines would still find a way to be unprofitable.   Tsk. Tsk.

NPR Topics: News